Thursday, January 31, 2008

ich liebe geheim Algebra

It is rather annoying to have too many of these ridiculous problems to do. Seriously, I know how to do them so why do I need to do so many in one lesson? 5[3(x+2)+4]+2x=67 or 4x+3[7+2(x-3)]=83 Its funny, they always remind me to eliminate the innermost parentheses first when distributing. Its not as though I haven't done like, 40 of these problems (or more) already. its good to wow younger brothers though.

I had this word problem yesterday,

In the recent survey, 5/8 of the Siamese cats said they didn't mind having to lap water from a bowl, but another 3/16 admitted they would have preferred to use a straw instead. If 39 of the Siamese cats gave one of these answers, how many were surveyed in total? (48 Siamese cats).

Or today,

Deirdre is a member of a very small and deliberately low profile organization called Algebra Lovers Anonymous. She paid $10 in dues for each of her first 3 years as a member and $2 in dues each year after that. If Deirdre has paid a total of $38 in dues, for how many years has she paid $2 in dues?

I am going to the library later.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Psalm 139

All through out the day I have been thinking of interesting things to write, but now they suddenly disappear, so I guess I'll start new.

Practically everybody knows that I used to listen to really bad music. Music that was all about drugs, alcohol, pimps, girls and, um, sex. I really don't think I was saved then but I know that I was being convicted (of sin) and I didn't like it. So I started listening to this music, kinda like how somebody turns to drugs or beer, to just drown out everything that was going on in my mind, to forget (temporarily), to drown out my conscience and most of all, I didn't like how the Lord was there. Its hard to explain, but I just wished He would leave me alone and stop making me so miserable, and wow, thank God He didn't leave me alone. I still cry sometimes about how I must have been a big pain, I was supposed to be a good example to my younger siblings and I had told my dad I was saved (that was a lie, I really wasn't), yet I was yelling at them all to just leave me alone, I didn't care if I got in trouble, just get out and stay out. Even after I was truly saved I still had to struggle with music and to be honest, it hasn't been until maybe last month that I really stopped listening to it completely. But I am getting a bit off subject, I started this whole thing because I wanted to explain why my blog is called "The way I am". It is called that because the night I started this blog I was struggling over a name for it and then I remembered a song that I had heard called "The way I are" by Timbaland Featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E. And by the way, that is the song Chelsea gets to dance to at her dance recital and I can assure that this song is absolutely garbage even though the beat may sound nice to some and the dance routine (what I have seen of it) that Chelsea dances is a bit provocative.

I wish I didn't struggle with prayer so much. I need to pray, I have to pray, its like dad said that if a Christian doesn't pray its like holding their breath and eventually they will need to breath. Sometimes I fell like I am gasping for air and I wonder sometimes if there is some sin that I have not confessed and if there is, why is it not being shown to me? Maybe it is being shown and I just need to listen harder, or look harder.

This is all for tonight, I don't really feel like writing any more and besides, I don't really have much else to write.

Some verses from bible today

James 4:13 Go to now, ye that say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:

14: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

15: For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

16: But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

24: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Alfred Lord Tennysons, The Eagle

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring'd with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.

Supposedly this is talking about an eagle, I guess he is using figurative language or something. But anyways, I like how this poem sounds.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

10 min left

This is probably going to be an extremely short post unless I get the "bedtime" revoked or extended.

Dad finally finished Hebrews tonight after many years of going through it. I may not remember everything he talked about these past years but all the notes in my bible will help; I have really benefited from Hebrews even though some nights I may have been sleepy and I cant wait to see what book he goes into next.

I was given a nice stretchy rubber band and a little bit ago I snapped an unsuspecting victim who jumped because they were startled. That was funny, really funny, for me. Not him. Hehehe.

McIntire was sleeping on my new belt! The little flubbery ball of furry laziness and smelly cat faced blob of black fur. Why doesn't that cat realize that if I don't want it sleeping on my shirt and if I don't want it sleeping on my new blanket then I obviously don't want it sleeping on my belt. She thinks she owns everything including us humans, she bosses the hand that feeds her and that is dangerous. Sometimes she will lead us into the bathroom and she wont stop meowing until we rearrange the food in her dish so that it looks different. And at two in the morning she demands to be let out of the room (where she wasn't invited) and has us let her out. And if we don't get up and let her out then she will meow and meow louder and louder until A. we let her out or B. we put all the pillows and blankets over our head, tell the cat to shut up and turn the fan full blast. Unfortunately A normally wins because you just cant silence a desperate cat.

Chelsea was tired this morning (there was know sarcasm in the tired) so she didn't go to church, amazingly the skidoos woke her up. She looked rather cautious as she drove the skidoo, and I was tempted to yell at her to go faster. But that may have been distracting, so I didn't.

Well this is all for tonight, I have to go to bed in ten minutes anyways and thee are other things I wish to do if I can squeeze them all into ten minutes.

Saturday, January 26, 2008


Today was interesting. I had to clean the church as usual so my dad and I went into town. I finished cleaning while he was working on the heaters in the back Sunday school rooms and then as we got in the car the phone rang, then we went to Canadian tire. I got a sweet little knife there (it is somewhat sharp) and as we were checking out the phone rang. After that we went to Jtec and the phone rang. And then we go to Walmart and the phone rang and then we go to Value Village and the phone rang. So then we go to Loebs and then we go back to the church because dad figured out how to fix the heaters and then we get to City Limits and the phone rang, so then we start heading back to loebs and the phone rang, this time it was Timmy so that was ok, I enjoy talking to my almost two year old brother. So we finally get on 401 and dad says he wonders if we can get home without the phone ringing, and somehow we manage to do that.

This knife I have is small, but I don't need a big knife so its ok. Its the smallest Gerber knife they had and it was $20, well actually $19.99. It has a locking blade and it is very sharp, I actually sharpened it on my arm and I was rather surprised because I had never managed to do that before and I have tried several times. Its 5.25 inches in total length and the blade is 2.25 inches long and it weighs 1 ounce. I was just writing that all out to see if I remembered it.

The first time I went to Loebs dad offered to get me a candy bar, but I decided to take my chances on the coke machine, which turned out to be a bad choice. So I got over to the machine and I looked hard for a root beer and I saw a bottle that was grayish/silver in colour and it was turned in such a way that I couldn't see the sides or the front so I had know idea if it was actually a barqs or if it was a diet coke. So I took my chances and it was a diet coke. Wow, I had forgotten that coke tasted so nasty! It was horrid, absolutely horrid but I drank almost all of it because I was thirsty. When we got back to the church I tried hard to finish the last 1/4th of the bottle but I couldn't so I ended up pouring down the sink. I kept the lid though, you never know if I may win something, I have a one in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance.

The second time I went into Loebs I, for the first time, realized that they play music in the store, the reason I noticed was because they were playing My Immortal. So even if I don't listen to that music anymore, the songs are still in my head waiting for a chance to reappear and bug me. But to be perfectly honest, the lyrics are nice. And at the same time they aren't. Confusing.

There are lots of things that bug me when they shouldn't and I wish that they wouldn't bug me. I cant stand it when Ben rubs his fingers in the window in the van, or when certain people (person) makes his hand crack or his neck pop because it sounds really icky and it makes me cringe, and I should add the he said he would stop, or when Timmy hums forever when I am writing or is singing "mum mu ma mum mu ma mum mu ma mum mu ma bo bo ba ba ba ba " over and over and over and over. Or when people stare at me or when people put humongously long spaces between their paragraphs, or when people stand by the computer watching me as I write (hehe that made them go away) or when people scratch a chalkboard or scream and then tell me they are whistling. Or when Puppy looks at me when I leave her to go inside or when my younger siblings ask why, like they ask me if they can paint with my oil paint and I say no and they say why not.

I have been writing for 46 minutes and now I want to do other things on the computer so I am going to stop now. Auf Wiedersehen

Friday, January 25, 2008


I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then theres a pair of us --- don't tell!
they'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

Emily Dickinson

I am going to bed now. Its almost 10:30. I'd rather go to bed without being told to but that hardly ever happens.

mini golf

I have a sore throat and I hope it doesn't get worse. Puppy chewed Nate's phone line (much to the amusement of the repair guy), but thankfully that wasn't the cause of the problem. A few hours after the guy left John (Sarah's dad) came down and said his phone wasn't working. So the repair guy fixed Nate's problem and made a new problem. Timmy is over here opening and closing the drawer of the desk with a rubber band; its funny how little things fascinate babies but annoy older people. Now he is trying to snap me with it, I wonder where he learned that from. . .

My math is so easy it irks me so bad. I don't know why Greg Sabouri decided that us poor high schoolers needed to do six or more problems (that are basically the same) per lesson when we have other, more interesting things that we wish to study. For instance, in todays lesson I had ( there is a picture on Zorg's happy world) to do six of problems like this one,

3(x-4) + 2x = 18

x happens to equal six in case your wondering.

Then there are simplifying problems like this one and I had six of them,

-7 + 3(x-2) + 5

That simplified is 3x - 8

Then I have silly word problems like,

Translate the word problem into an equation then solve:
The second rate super hero and his arch enemy, Melvin the Minor Menace, started 700 miles apart and flew straight toward each other in their jet propulsion packs. It took 5 hours for the two to meet. if the superhero's speed was 10 mph slower than the Menace's speed, what was the Menace's speed?

Thats tomorrows lesson so nobody tell me the answer. Its not like I can figure it out right now though.

I have been reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its an interesting book. A little bit of hesitation there in the interesting because I've read better books. All this reading about root beer on peoples blogs makes me want one but the nearest convenience store isn't exactly in comfortable walking distance and I don't think anybody would drive me down there just to get a drink. There is this computer game we have that is very popular in this family, its called mini golf. Well I was playing it and you have to get below per to open up another course. I thought, "this will be so easy, its a kids game and I can just go and open up all the locked levels" It didn't turn out that way at all. That game is so frustrating, so I just quit.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

candy land

My birthday is in like, a month and five days, I'll be sixteen. Now, I could really use a the kind of knife that has a locking blade that doesn't snap shut and slice my finger, a real pigskin instead of a soda bottle filled with gravel, scrap booking stuff for all the tons of pictures we have, and um, a case of root beer.

I went shopping today with several others in my family and I bought clothes. I waited forever (well, only an hour) at Reitmans while my mom picked up Nate at work, and I could hear the woman working there talking about how long I had been waiting. When mom finally showed up the one lady said something like "she finally came, she didn't forget you" or something to that affect. Nate bought me some oil pastels and I love them. I really like using oil pastels because they smell nice, they blend together well and they are so smooth.

We bought some board games to, Scattergories, Candy Land, Life and a matching game. The Candy land and the matching game are for the younger kids. I played Life and of course I had to get the $20,000 salary and the $180,000 house, and I had twins to.

I found a nice website with sped up drawing videos and I just finished watching them all. Its pretty cool. Well, thats all for tonight.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Blank computer screens should inspire me to write something to make them non blank, but tonight my mind is blank, although my fingers are itching to type something. The only thing I can really think of I don't want to write about here because, like I have said before, this blog is very public. So I guess I'll just write small stuff that comes to mind.

Its eleven thirty and since I slept so much this morning I am not tired at all. I am talking to Caleb so this post is taking longer. I like talking to Caleb, I cant exactly put it into words, I just like talking to him.

Almost all the Underwoods were not in church tonight because of the flu and it was strange. I don't realize how much I enjoy fellowshipping and talking with them until most of them are not there.

I know this is a small post but my brain hurts from trying to think of something to write. I think I'll just got to bed, goodnight.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


My brother Timmy is standing on the chair behind me begging to watch Bob. I told him no and he says "wah puppy, Rarah", meaning he wants to watch the kipper movie. I said no and he says "cookie Rarah, cookie". I said no, so now he is taking books of the bookshelf. I told him go to bed and he says "no", so I said that I was taking him to mommy and he says "no, don't take me to mommy Rarah". "Bob the builder Rarah? wah Bob the builder?" No! No! No! No!

My room is much cleaner today and dad washed the mold of the wall and its very nice. I threw away a lot of unimportant (I made sure) papers without them looking. Hehehe I feel evil. I am going to put all those boxes downstairs and then they wont have anything to play with, bwahahaha!! My room will be clean, for a little while at least, then they manage to have toys reappear when I thought I had hidden them. Arrrg.

It snowed a lot today, and it looks so pretty outside. All the trees laden with white fluffy stuff and the ground's lumps and disfigures are disguised. The only thing is, is that the cold makes me cough and it has to be cold for the snow to stay here and well, you cant have warm weather and snow at the same time.

I hate it when McIntire hides on Gwandle making Gwandle mew like a lost little thing. It reminds me of the kittens in Avonmore when Molly started weaning them. I guess I could be glad she is actually mewing though, she never used to do that. Never say never.

Joseph made a rather interesting comment on his blog, the kind of comment that keeps popping up in your brain all day for some reason, I don't know why.

Everybody is in my moms room reading books by candle light so dad is out here reading his book. He took his shoes off to.

I played worms a lot and since I haven't played it for so long I had to get used to the game again. O kept blowing my own worms up or shooting the grenade to far or something. Its really funny, like I got a shotgun and started popping a enemy worm and he was going in that high pitched kids voice "oww eeee ow ow ow oooh eee" as he bounces around in the little hole I made when I aimed wrong and killed my own worm; its hilarious.

Its almost ten, so this is it.


I am currently downloading this off internet. Lizzie was almost in hysterics when I played this video.

Monday, January 21, 2008


So dad got the dog shed insulated and everything and Puppy is now outside! When i went in to get her cage, I lifted up her blanket and found all sorts of junk that she had chewed on. Stuff like doll heads, lego, shredded garbage bags and pillows, an odd assortment of objects that she had collected for the moments when she was bored, I guess. Now I have a lot of stuff to sort through that smells like wet dog. That reminds me, I need to wash my coat.

I downloaded Mario and I have been playing it today, I think I like the gameboy version better. I also have been playing Sonic on the internet, which is just crazy. The last time I played for some reason it was very hard, but now I beat it in about five minutes, of course it was only six acts. All the old games that remind me of Nate and Joe playing with my cousin Bill (then we called him Billy) when we visited them. And Pacman, thats so fun, except for the Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde part. Or Sue if your playing Ms. Pacman.

I already wrote stuff today and I cant really think of much else to write.


Its been a few days since I last wrote, so I figured I should make a new post. I wanted to write yesterday but by the time I got a chance to use the computer it was time for bed and I wanted to write Saturday but Joseph was over and he was sleeping in the living room.

I had the weirdest dream last night, it was so strange and I actually remembered it, so here it is:

There were eight brothers who lived in this huge castle like building. Somehow they had angered the wind and rain queen who then declared that each brother would have to make a journey by themselves in a fragile canoe while she poured all her anger out. If the brothers all made it back to the castle without dying than the queen wouldn't be mad at them any more. So after seven of the brothers made their journeys, and they all came back safely the queen put a curse on them and turned them into animals; chipmunks, rabbits, squirrels and rats. Then the queen said that the eighth brother (who was the youngest) had to find the white lady and bring her back to the castle in order to break the curse. So the eight brother finds the white lady on a very big raft and tells her that she needs to come and break the curse, which she does and then all the brothers are free again.

I did five math lessons today and when I get done writing I have another test to do. It was an incredibly short chapter all about adding x's. Stuff like 5x plus 3x = 24. So hard, not.

Dad is working on the dog house. Yippee, now Puppy will be out of my room! Mom also said he may work on the mold in my room, so maybe tomorrow morning it wont smell so bad in there.

I may write more tonight, right now I need to do more school.

Friday, January 18, 2008


I cut my hair. Its um, shorter now, kinda layered, I like it. Feels weird though, its like half my hair is gone, maybe it is. But yeah, its shorter.

Puppy got loose today; she is way to strong and I am getting tired of the clips an her chain and her collars not being strong enough to withstand her pulling. I'm gonna have to find a big heavy duty clip thats three inches thick that she will never break and her next collar (if she breaks this one) will be a solid metal band. I'm not serious, but thats to give an idea of how strong she is, and why I don't relish taking her for walks. Snickers on the other hand is very calm, like all dogs should be. Next summer Puppy is going to go to obedience school, and if that doesn't work (I hope it does cause' I love my dogie) then I thought of maybe donating her to the police or drug sniffers or something. Something useful besides pulling my arm off.

I got an 88% on my math test. Blah, I wish it was higher, guess I'll have to study more this chapter. As long as I keep the average above or at 90%, I'll be happy; right now my average is 88% so you could guess that I am not happy. So this chapter I will study harder and hopefully I'll get a higher score and therefore a higher average. My biology on the other hand, has an average of 81% which is not to bad considering that a lot of the biology is a little confusing and maybe a quarter of the questions I was guessing at.

I have been playing booym a lot. Its a game where you have balls that you have to hit bricks with and always catch them on your paddle. Every level gets harder and the number of balls increases and they get faster, you also play against the computer. You can hit the computer with lightening or grenades and you can freeze up his bricks or give him more bricks to break. Funny, I gave the computer a male identity. Sometimes the game goes so fast that I cant help missing the balls that I would rather get wrenches to fix my paddle that lightening to make the computer lose a life.

I suddenly got a big headache, which normally happens after baking and cleaning the bathroom in one day, so I'll stop.


My math has between 8-10 of these kind of problems per lesson. They are easy, but when you have to do so many it gets tedious.

9 + x/5 - 2 = 4.8

9 + x/5 + (-2) =4.8

x/5 + 7 = 4.8

x/5 + 7 - 7 = 4.8 -7

x/5 = -2.2

5(x/5) = (-2.2)5

x = -11

I think I got that right.

Then I have a word problem in every lesson, todays went like this:

Translate the word problem into an equation; than solve.

While shopping with her husband (see practice e), Mrs. Gargantua bought 2 garden hoses (one to use as a necklace and the other to use as a leash for her per watchamacallit) and 2 giant flowerpots (both to use as summer hats). if the hoses cast $30 each, and the bill for all the items (hoses and flowerpots combined) was $96, ow much did each flower pot cost?

So the equation is: 2(30) + 2x = 96. The answer is $18 each

In case you are wondering what practice e is,

Gargantua bought to rakes (one to use as a backscratcher and the other as a comb) and 2 shovels (both to use as spoons). If the rakes cost $15 each, and the bill for all the item (rakes and shovels combined) was $25, how much did each shovel cost?

I don't do the practice, so you will have to figure that one out yourself. And who knows what a Gargantua is? Its a a voracious giant in Fran├žois Rabelais' book of the same name. I wonder what the guy who wrote my math book reads.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

no other gods before me.

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday was so named to honor Woden, the chief Anglo-Saxon/Teutonic god. Woden is the leader of the Wild Hunt. Woden is from wod "violently insane" + -en "headship". He is identified with the Norse Odin.

The Greek and Roman people named it after their other gods, Mercury and Hermes. If anybody who has studied all those pagan gods thinks that this info is wrong, please tell me.

Mercury is the Roman god of commerce, travel, thievery, eloquence and science. He is the messenger of the other gods.

Hermes is the Greek god of commerce, invention, cunning, and theft. He is the messenger and herald of the other gods. He serves as patron of travelers and rogues, and as the conductor of the dead to Hades.

Exodus 20:3 Thou shalt have no other gods before, me.

Psa 115:4 Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands.
Psa 115:5 They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not:
Psa 115:6 They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:
Psa 115:7 They have hands, but they handle not: feet have they, but they walk not: neither speak they through their throat.
Psa 115:8 They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them.
Psa 115:9 O Israel, trust thou in the LORD: he is their help and their shield.

These are the verses I think of in connection to false gods or idols. I always wonder how people can trust those gods to watch over them when those gods were made. My God was never made, He was always there, ans He is the only One that I am able to trust in.

I don't know why I just wrote about gods, but it was the first thing that came to mind. I am going to bed now, tomorrow I get to try out a wii.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


I stretched my leg playing tag today and Puppy is bewildered as to why I wont run with her. I tied her outside and there is this circle of trampled snow that looks comical. I am holding McIntire as I write, in the winter she turns into this big cuddly cat that loves being held but in the summer she is a wildcat. I love holding her right after she has come inside and her fur is all cold and she sits on my lap purring and purring.

I think I'll take a walk tomorrow and enjoy the snow and the cold, crisp air. And I wont take Puppy because she practically tries to pull my arm off.

I'm in that weird mood that produces insane poetry and Pablo Picasso type drawings. And at the same time my brain is dead. Sigh.

I didn't do very much school today, for one thing I was watching a DVD that I got at the library, and it is a long DVD, I have to finish it before Thursday. And the other reason was that I had to keep an eye on the kids with my parents gone and I cant do much studying when Tim and John are using their vocal talents in a way that produces way too much noise. Maybe a 3.7 on the richter scale.

Abby and I made supper and the hamburger gravy actually was gravy not soup this time even though I forgot to drain the meat. My dad was so preoccupied that I don't think he really noticed though.

Little Aaron died today. I don't know what I would do if one of my little brothers died, or any of my siblings for that matter. Pray for Jill and the Underwoods and the rest of their family, the Lord may use this to save.

Can you believe I actually wrote all that in twenty minutes? Normally it would take me way longer.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Its hard to concentrate and pay attention and participate in church and sunday school when your mind is a hundred miles away dwelling on some other thought. I tried hard to cast all my cares upon Him, but every christian knows how much we love to pick up our cares right afterwards. Every body knows about the thing with Chelsea and her family and my parents are hoping to go over and talk to them tomorrow afternoon. The other thing that has been bothering me is my brother, I am not going to go in detail, just something to pray about. And it hurts, kinda.

I was allowed over at Chelsea's this afternoon and we played the gamecube with Sarah. I gave Chelsea her sunday school paper and she looked up her verse and we talked for like a minute or so. She was afraid that she would have to memorize Romans 5:6-10, but I explained that it was only verse six. I'm pretty sure it was only verse six.

Rom 5:6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

I want to go to bed and wake up and not have this whole thing feel like a ton of bricks weighing me down. I don't know why it bothers me because normally it just rolls off and it just doesn't bother me this much. He is my brother and I have always looked up to him.

I think I'll just go to bed, my knees have been hurting since right after prayer time tonight and I am so tired.


The visible bike

This cat has problems

The Persian terrorist strikes!

Um, yeah

Come over here just a little closer

Friday, January 11, 2008


I would have started writing awhile ago but Puppy is rather constipated. I don't know if it was that ham bone or what, but shes a little messed up.

Yesterday I got myself another fleece blanket, its really soft and I am enjoying it. When fleece blankets get washed over and over they tend to start not being as soft. The one I got is two panels (both the same) that are a meter each, its a picture of an air force jet with words that are something like "United States Air Force" on the top and "discover the blue" or something like that on the bottom. Its all in blues and grays and white with a little bit of red and thats nice because I love the color blue. I also got three packs of gum, which is totally unhealthy, but I like gum. Some people may say that I am addicted to gum and I may joke around the same, but I don't really chew gum a lot. There may be some truth, though, in that some girls run off of gum.

This is really gross, but Gwandle just scratched her ear and this grayish brown thing flew out, then she went and ate it. I will never tolerate that cat licking my fingers again, but I said that about Puppy and Snickers and their dead things but I still let them lick me occasionally. Scary.

I went to the library yesterday as well. I got one movie `and two documentaries plus a couple books. The books (I mean "story books" or whatever) that they have for teens are garbage so I haven't really gotten many books lately. I got two books for school, one is about the civil war and this time I got a book that tells about the South's side, and the other is about the west. The other books I got were about a teenage drug addict (I can see your eyebrows rising) and one about a Jewish boy named Daniel who was sent to a German prison camp and one about William Tyndale. The DVDs are To Kill a Mocking Bird , Road to 9/11 and Auschwitz. I watched To Kill a Mocking Bird last night and a few parts of it made me jump, startled I guess. It was about a white lawyer (something like that) who was defending a black man who was accused of raping a white girl. It was on old black and white film, but it as very interesting. If anybody wants to know how a mocking bird fits in, you will just have to watch it.

I did a lot of school today, a lot. I a a little behind, well maybe six weeks is more than a little, but I did a whole week in one day. And I know somebody is going to ask me if I did biology, math and French, I did some French but of course it wasn't a whole weeks worth, and to explain this math and biology thing. When I catch up and maybe get a little ahead in my other studies than I will devote a whole week to those two subjects. I'll take time to listen to my math lectures and take the time to read my biology a sentence at a time, over and over until I understand it.

I have been reading God's Will God's Best by Josh McDowell and Kevin Johnson for bible. Yesterday I was reading over the chapter about friends, and I found a verse to compare all my friends to, to see if they are good friends.

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

I need to make sure I have good friends because I know that my unsaved friends drag me down more time that I like and I really don't like the idea that my garments may be becoming dirty and stained. So whenever I meet a knew person who I may want to consider as my friend, I am going to compare them to this verse. I am going to see if they follow all those things and call on the Lord with a pure heart. As for my unsaved friends, I am going to witness to them as much as I can, but I am also going to try to separate my self from them more.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

pinocchio is a loser

Biology is difficult; I wouldn't consider it a thorn in the flesh, but its getting there. I am still on cells and I probably will still be on cells next week, and the next. Its just so confusing and intricate and mind boggling and amazing all at the same time. There is know way a soup that was simmering for billions of years could have made all this, it had to have required a Creator, and it did. I always tell Chelsea that it was in the beginning God, not in the beginning bang. That being said, I feel a bit better about the possibility if flunking the test, at least I will have learned a lot this module. But then you never know, I may pass with a good grade, who knows.

I really enjoy prayer meeting, its refreshing even though I have this block about praying out loud. By my self or with, like one person I'm fine but in a large group I sometimes feel as though I am repeating. When I was helping Judith this past weekend, we talked a while before we went to bed and we prayed together, it was good. Its so easy to talk to her because she listens so well, the two ears and one mouth thing come in a lot:) I had been thinking about this one thing all day and it was bothering me a little, so I told Judith about it and she gave me counsel and advice and then left it at that. With my mom, and I don't like this, but whenever we talk it almost always turns into an argument. There are to sides to every story, but sometimes to me it seems as though she is talking to a little child in her eyes instead of a teenager. Like I don't know anything and whatever she says (remember this is a conversation, not a correction) I have to do and I don't have a choice. I cant think through her advice and make decisions, I have to do it. I know I still have a lot to learn and mom is way older than me a and knows more, but sometimes, I don't know. Then this other thing with my attitude. My parents say that I have a bad attitude a lot when I talk to them, and even though I may not be thinking the way the say I am talking, I must be because thats the way I sound. They say that I'm just so used to talking that way that I do it with out thinking. Somehow I just don't agree with that completely. I would like to have a normal conversation with my parents with out an argument happening and with out anybody saying that I am being disrespectful or have a bad attitude, because that just shuts things down for me and I don't feel like talking any more after that. Something to pray about; hopefully I haven't gone to far in what I am writing but I have been wanting to write it all out for a long time and I was not sure if I should.

I told my dad I would only be a another 20 minutes and thats how long it took me to carefully write all that out.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

lion head

I don't really feel like posting tonight, not much to say and too much on my mind. Too hard to organize all the confusion and write it all down. I need to pray more, I need to read my bible more, I need to do more school. Something like neglect your bible, forget to pray and you shrink, shrink, shrink. Tomorrow maybe I'll have a few things sorted out.

Monday, January 7, 2008


I got this quote off of Rebekah Walkers blog, and I like it.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that only a man seeking the Lord can find it."

- Elizabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity


I started another blog to post all my pictures and drawings on, there is a link to it, and its called zorg. I don't really have that much to write, but I have thought that before and then wrote a long post. So I'll just think for a minute and then I will write, just nobody move because I dropped me brain.

I read a lot of history today, and its really stupid how Andrew Jackson took all the Indian's (Native Americans) land away from them. He said he couldn't do anything about, but really he didn't want to do anything about it. One Indian leader said that when the white men came the were like a small tree that needed sheltered and watered and taken care of, so his people did that. When the white people got bigger (there were more of them) they still looked after them and didn't make war with them, but now these white people are like a mighty oak and it is the once towering pine that needs the shelter and care. But instead the oak drove off its former protector, and that if it wasn't for his people the whites wouldn't have survived. Its funny, I learned today that freed slaves owned slaves. I always knew that black people, all kinds of people actually, owned slaves, it was a common thing in every country and nation. But I just never thought that freed slaves would turn around and have slaves themselves, wouldn't they know what it was like and not own slaves?

We had spaghetti for supper with whole wheat noodles. I've had whole wheat noodles before, but these were flat, it was strange. Have you ever tried eating playdough? It the most repulsive icky stuff, but at the same time that salt taste good. I know, I am so weird to even taste it but I am not a normal sane person. Its as bad as chewing on rubber bands. Abby has a fluish sickness and I want to open the window tonight. It gets so hot in my room, but I am afraid to make her worse, but maybe it would help because then my room wouldn't fill up with her germ infested breath and make Liz and I sick. It just gets so hot in there at night and I wake up all sweaty and I cant go to sleep.

I am wanted to make cookies. Gotta go.


If only I could figure out how to make the letters be not so pixeled on my header.

Sunday, January 6, 2008


I like the smell of rain and spring and brownies. I like looking at sunsets and snow falling and clouds. I like hearing thunder and babies cooing and wind. I like touching baby rabbits fur and fleece blankets and dirt running through my fingers. I like tasting fresh strawberries and sour worms and hamburgers.

I wish I had my guinea pigs because I loved to hold them and feed them broccoli while the whistled and grunted. They loved baths and their lower lip would droop like a horse with pleasure. And I would scratch their heads and they would go "wheeeeet! Wheeeet! Wheeet!" and and their little bodies would quiver with excitement. I cant wait until spring when all the sassy little foals come and the frolic around the pasture and stare at you from underneath their mamas with big brown eyes. And they get so close that you can almost touch their soft nose then they whirl off and hide while the older horses look at them with utter boredom. Its fun to go up to the pond in the summer and lay back in the grass and listen to the frogs conversing with each other (ok, I know thats not what they are really doing, but thats what it sounds like) and you can hear an occasional fish jump and its so quiet and peaceful. Or sitting on the dock at camp, early in th morning when there is mist over the river and listening to loons call back in forward that beautiful but haunting call of theirs. I like holding the babies while they chatter away in French to "madam" and I have to pretend that I understand everything they say and nod my head and say "oui, oui" over and over. And sometimes they look at me funny because I was supposed to say "non" and then they start laughing and I laugh along.

I hate it when I make someone cry and I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and hide, especially when it is a little kid. I heard this song once and I liked the chorus a lot so I got it on the internet and changed it around a little. I couldn't change it to much because its probably copy written, so

I understand that there are some problems, and I am not too blind to know, all the pain that I caused you, even though you might not show. If I can't apologize for being wrong then it’s just a shame on me. I’ll be the reason for your pain, you can put the blame on me.

Thats for the two people who I have probably caused the most pain for, (my parents of course) there have been so many times when I should have apologized but I didn't, I should have shut up but I didn't.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Little pieces

These days have been filled with babies, dishes, laundry, washing dishes, cleaning rooms, friends, and dogs. People got mad at each other today and of course it was over me. The conversation went something like this:

Them: I know your deepest dark secret
Me: blablablabla
Them2: I dont have a deep secret
Them: Yes you do, don't play dumb
Me: blablablabla
Them: Everybody knows, you said it
Them2: no I don't, I don't know what you are talking about
Me: blablalbla, sigh
Them: Lets tell Elijah, hes like the only one we haven't told
Them2: What are you talking about!!!
Them: We cant tell, its a secret
Me: I need to go home soon
Them: She likes you more than me
Them2: What! I do not
Them: Yes you do, I heard you say it
Them2: I did not!
Me: Um, guys. . .
Them: Everybody knows, you said it, they said it, she said it, he said it
Them2: I don't!
Elijah: Sarah, can you come help me?
Me: Yes! bye guys!

I don't feel the greatest and I am tired, so this is it.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008


I never make new years resolutions because I never keep them more than a day or two. Besides, I can only handle a few "must do right nows" (or must do this year) at a time and I currently have enough to last me until I go to Bangladesh, Lord willing. The "must do right nows" that I have are, (and they are listed in order of when they came to mind)

  1. Keep my room clean longer than one day, I have been working on that one for as long as I can remember.
  2. Study more biology so that I can pass and then I wont have to do biology again, I'll just have chemistry.
  3. Read the entire Bible, I've never done that before surprisingly.
  4. Keep up with my studies and quit taking breaks for no reason except that I am to lazy to keep doing it.
  5. Be a better witness for the Lord, and a better sister to my siblings.
  6. Develop more patience, especially when siblings torture Puppy by standing next to her with a cookie, causing Puppy to bark in the morning when I am not awake and don't want to be awake.
  7. Get a better relationship with my dad going.
  8. Write a letter to Jessica before she thinks I've dropped of the face of the earth.
  9. Pray more.
  10. And finally, I would really like to go to Bangladesh.

So, thats ten things that I would like to do and some that I need to do, and I don't feel like adding anything more at this point in time.

I played monopoly with Chelsea, Ethan and their mom, and it got a little boring at the end because we were all more interested in Tweety and the Pudycat than playing a game. Its cold enough outside to freeze the inside of your nose. I didn't take Puppy for a walk today because I didn't feel like walking on the skidoo trail and having my knee bother me the rest of the day because of the cold. So I just let her run around lose and she and Snickers had a fun time wrestling in the snow. I actually wore a hat today to. Its getting a little hard to write with Gwandle on the keyboard so I think I'll stop.

Her daddys love

Daddy you're the man in your little girl's dreams
You are the one, that she longs to please
and there's a place in her heart, that can only be filled
with her Daddy's love

But if you don't give her the love she desires
She will try someone but they won't satisfy her
If your little girl rose up without your Daddy's love
She may feel empty and it's only because

Her Daddy's love that she's looking for
Don't send her away to another man's door
Nobody else can do what you do
She just needs her Daddy's love

And someday if you hear that here purity is gone
She may have lost it trying to find
What she was missing at home
Let the heavenly father heal where you fail
He can forgive you and help you
Give her Daddy's love that she's looking for

Don't send her away to another man's door
Nobody else can do what you do
She just needs her Daddy's love

Lyrics & music written by Stephen Curtis Chapman

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


I guess this could be considered my first post for 2008. Now I am going to bed.